Self-Care For Carers: What They Never Tell You
When you’re caring for a loved one - especially a parent - the responsibility is constant. It changes your routines, your priorities, your relationships, your health. And somewhere in that shift, it becomes alarmingly easy to forget that you still matter too.
That’s not dramatic. It’s just the reality for many carers.
Caregiving and Mental Health: The Hidden Panic No One Talks About
Some days, it feels like I’m calm on the surface… and quietly spiralling underneath.
I’ll be doing something completely normal - making a cup of coffee, replying to an email - and suddenly I realise I’m clenching my jaw, holding my breath, running through scenarios in my head that haven’t even happened yet.
What if Mum gets a pressure sore?
What if my stepdad has another heart attack or falls?
What if I miss something, forget something, drop one of the spinning plates and it all crashes down?
Caring comes with so much love.
But it also comes with so much fear.
When Caring Changes Everything: How Becoming a Carer Reshaped My Relationships
I didn’t realise how much my relationships would shift when I started becoming more involved in looking after my parents.
If I’m honest, I thought my parents were invincible. I never really pictured how their later years might unfold - not like this, anyway.
But one thing I didn’t expect at all was how caring would affect my friendships and family dynamics.
When you become the main caregiver for your parents, it doesn’t just change your role - it changes your place in the family.
“Just shove them in a home” - Why It’s Not That Simple
“Why don’t you just shove them in a home?”
It usually comes from people who mean well, or think they’re being practical. They see the stress etched on my face, they hear the stories about the ambulance callouts, hospital appointments, lifts and trying to work full time and they think the solution is easy:
Outsource it.
Hand the responsibility to someone else. Put my parents in a care home so I can go back to “having a life.”